Interview with 8 year old designer of iOS 7

thingswrongwithios7: Hi, can you tell us about yourself?

Molly: My name is Molly, I am 8 years old and I like colouring in!

thingswrongwithios7: What inspired you for the new iOS 7 theme?

Molly: My fisher prices, mmmmm, my bright colors and the Mr Ive Designer person gave me a Pony that shits rainbows as long as  I colours the icons all inside the line!

thingswrongwithios7: So, who did you have in mind when designing iOS 7?

Molly: My friends at school! We all love iOS 7 and Justin Beiber wallpaper looks good with the parallax background motion! I like rainbows! I want my iphone 5c to be a rainbow in my pocket!

thingswrongwithios7: Yes, you seem to have done a good job as sales to under 12’s of the new iphone is shooting through the roof. Going back to Mr Ive and Apple, did they pose any restrictions?

Molly: Wells, my teacher Miss Honey always said in Art, never use colors from the tube. She’s a real artist you know. Mr Ive said I wasn’t allowed to use any shades unlike Miss Honey and I had to use the brightest skittle colors I could find! I had a choice of 5 crayola crayons.

thingswrongwithios7: What does your Dad think of iOS 7? He must be proud?

Molly: Well, he didn’t upgrade as he is  embarrassed but he did put a picture of iOS 7 on the fridge and it is so bright, NASA can see our fridge from space!

thingswrongwithios7: Anything else?

Molly: YEAH! I’m scared of vampires but Mr Ive said that if i show them the game centre screen it should burn the vampires away with the brightness! I LIKE DRAWING RAINBOWS AND NOW YOU HAVE ONE IN YOUR POCKET!

thingswrongwithios7: Blade, eat your heart out. Talking of supernatural, anything weird ben happening recently?

Molly: YEAH! A man came to me in a dream called Steve and called my rainbow pooping pony a ‘virgin’ and took it away and said I can’t have it back until i restore functionality over looks. I don’t understand 😦

thingswrongwithios7: Molly, I notice an important looking letter from the postman next to your fisher price bake a muffin oven, what is it?

Molly: Oh it’s from Andriod taking me to the courts for GUI copying. Do they mean Basketball courts?

thingswrongwithios7: Some comments are iOS 7 makes the Teletubbies look like film Noir. What do you have to say to that?

Molly: I don’t understand, I’m only an 8 years old girl! Want to ride my pony? Let’s paint a picture of colourful bubbles! Oh, I just dids that.

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One thought on “Interview with 8 year old designer of iOS 7

  1. That interview is hilarious & right on! Good job. I’m so glad to start seeing wordpress bloggers blasting ios7 (yours is the 2nd I’ve seen), & where we can comment truthfully w/o the snotty condescending Apple fanbots/fanboys in Mac forums & at “professional tech sites” telling us these massive hideous changes are “no big deal,” “get over yourself,” etc. I get so sick of that “politically correct” attitude!

    Re ios7 (which I WAS planning to get a new iphone this time around, it’s been 4 years/3Gs, but now am holding back),
    to go along with your “rainbow” complaint, other people have described it as:
    –“Clown Vomit” (lol!)
    –“A bad LSD psychedellic trip” (lol, so true!),
    –“Girl Magazine” (font, colors, so true!)
    –“Mickey Mouse functionality,” (very true!)
    –“Gaudy!” (cheap chintzy tacky “flat look”!)
    –And my own opinion before I even saw yours, ios7 looks like a “Gay Pride Parade in the South Beach [Miami] Art Deco District”!

    Could I get away with saying that at tech news sites or mac forums? Probably not, but that’s exactly what it portrays. Don’t get me wrong, I love “tropical colors,” but there’s a right way & a wrong way, ie, Elegant or El Cheapo.

    What we have with ios7 are Pasty Pastel Rainbow Colors & “Art Deco” fonts in a shallow cheap setting >> no “FEELING,” no luxurious elegance, no ambience, no richness nor depth, no texture, no maturity; just an aesthetically tacky lolly-pop kiddie show for young girls.

    No thanks, Apple. I’ll wait for an exquisite & more mature “fine wine” version.

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